CronkNews (Satire)

Professor Embraces Flipped Classroom. “Twice As Much Time to Lecture!”

from the Cronk of Higher Education Professor Rupert Villanueva returned from the recent Conference for Learning Engagement elated over a teaching model that many instructors presented about. “This is going to change everything!” said Villanueva about what is commonly called the “flipped classroom.” In order...

Stagnating Adjunct Salaries at One College Explained—$50,000 Consultants Save University $3000

More great satire from our brilliant friends at The Cronk of Higher Education A crack team of consultants from Barney, Whittams & Crones, LLC visited Drewrey College last week to.

Satire: Post Dramatic Stress Disorder Hits Academe

from The Cronk of Higher Education Employee Assistance Programs from across the country have been inundated with requests for psychological intervention on almost every college campus in order to help.

Satire: University President Objects Strenuously to “Adjuncts Are Slaves” Metaphor, Continues Sipping Mint Julep

by Nathan B. Penny Freelance Writer Holding a press conference from the front porch of his ancestral Antebellum estate in the heart of the Mississippi Delta, South-Southeastern Mississipi State University President Jeremiah Atticus Judson IV came out strongly this week against the parallels some of...

Satire: Adjunct Hunger Strike Fails. No One Noticed the Difference.

The National Adjunct United Coalition (NAUC) ended its hunger strike this week when leaders realized no one had noticed. “We had 300 part-time faculty participate in the campaign this semester,.

Satire: Secretary Becomes President at Copperfield Community College

by Jeffrey Ross, Copperfield Community College Freelance Journalist Irene Easley is “super psyched” to start her new job. The Copperfield Community College governing board today released a statement announcing the.

SATIRE: Humorist Concedes—Adjunct Employment Impossible to Satirize

by Teena Angst Satirist Teena Angst, has announced defeat in her attempt to generate satire pertaining to adjunct faculty. Angst explained, “I once met a gay, female, little person, African-American, amputee who was Jewish. I remember thinking that was the most oppressed person in the world. Now...

As Grade-Grubbing Worsens, Faculty Turn to “Stand Your Ground” Laws

FORT WELCH, Florida. Lydia Pfeiffer is an Assistant Professor in the English Department at a state college in this panhandle hamlet, and as she finishes grading the last of 47.

Satire: Dead Professor Wins Top Online Teaching Awards

by Teena Angst Freelance Writer “Clarence was such a loving and attentive partner, I never even knew he was teaching classes during his last few years,” said widow Clara Franklin..

Scientists Prove Long-Held Assumption that Elected Campus Positions Lead to Premature Arrogance Syndrome

Researchers at Winchester Tech have finally ended the ubiquitous nature/nurture debate about the onset of Premature Arrogance Syndrome (PAS) in campus elected officials. “We’ve made the mistake of considering all elected officers the same because they exhibited the same symptoms,” said Biosociologist Ron Shay. “We...

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