Excuses. Excuses.

On the front page of the AdjunctNation.com site, there is a feature called The Daily Excuse. AdjunctNation.com Family members can log in and leave their best student excuses. Those excuses rotate on the front page. I thought it might be fund to post a longer list of the excuses that have been submitted. The names beside the excuses are of the individual who submitted the excuse.  Enjoy the list, and to submit your own student excuses, click here to log in to your account, and then add your classic to the list. You may submit as many as you like, but only the best of the best get chosen. If yours does, it will rotate along with the rest of the daily excuses submitted.

I didn’t turn in my paper because my flash drive went through the washing machine. Hannah Sigur

I can’t read cursive. Carrie Finn

I cannot take the final exam on that date 4 months from now. My grandmother’s funeral will be on that day. Jim Harnish

I didn’t know that the final draft of my essay was supposed to be typed. Deborah Cunningham

I had a car accident and had to wait for the insurance adjuster. Hannah Sigur

I won’t be in class today, as they are wheeling me into the E.R. right now, and I was wondering if I could turn it in next week(Sounds of T.V., videogame, talking, laughing in the background). Mark Witsaman

My printer ran out of ink. Melissa Estelle

My grandmother’s uncle’s mother-in-law died and we had to go to the funeral in Calcutta last night.  Sharon Martin

My dog ate my computer. Rebecca Lindsay

The dog ate my jump drive. Debby Bloom

My car got towed and my homework was in the front seat. Joan Conrad

I know you said we were supposed to follow your directions, but I didn’t think you meant me. Joan Conrad

The roof of my house fell in. I cannot make it to class. Kathy Brooks

My dog ate my laptop power cord. Stephen D Kempisty

My house burned down. Stephen D Kempisty

Thursday is the Warriors home playoff game and I REALLY want to go. The game is at 7:30. I can come and turn in my paper and then go, but I don’t want to hurt my grade. What do you suggest? Judy Juanita

The “Electronic Dog” (read: computer) ate my homework. I allow one per student per semester; in Week 15, students auction off their unused excuses. Kate McIntire

My assignment was in the back seat of my car which was confiscated when my cousin used it trying to solicit a prostitute. Carmen Pascaretti

I was up all night with our new baby. Ronald Lucas

My cat caught fire. Allan Zwierzko

I never seen a cow before. I just relocated from Queens. I had to pull over. Sorry I’m so late for class. Liz Burke

I’m going to be sick tomorrow. Yolanda Williams

I think I’m going to be sick tomorrow. Yolanda Williams

“My grandmother/grandfather died and I had to leave town unexpectedly” – I know; it’s not so unusual – except when A THIRD of the class uses this excuse; the sheer numbers make me wonder if our country is in the throes of a pandemic! Brian Cushing

After two weeks of absence in a four week summer course the student arrives and says: I had car trouble. Thomas Cochran

Sorry, I’m dead right now, can I turn it in next week? Jade Winters

I have to go, my cat is on fire. Jade Winters

I cannot make class today, I have to go to clinic, and if so, get an abortion. (I actually received this one via email from a student who had missed MANY classes in a row.) Jade Winters

A squirrel ate the spark plug wires on my car. Nannette Crane

My assignments are late because I am deceased with a death in the family. Tony Leisner

I don’t do summers. (I got this one from a student who had missed several summer semester classes.) Laura Redic

I’m having eye problems…can’t see coming to work! Roger Hayes

I intended to do it correctly, but I didn’t. Ollie Foulk Library-Sub 1

Unfortunately the desired due date didn’t clearly connect with my calendar. Amanda Harrison

The Internet wasn’t working. Kirsti Dyer

I think I remember that I forgot something that I really needed to complete that task for you. Sorry! Amanda Harrison

I didn’t know where the assignment was supposed to turned in. Yolanda Williams

I didn’t read the syllabus. Virginia Wood

I’m sorry I missed class, but my canary had a miscarriage. Nancy Holmes

My flash drive got sick from a cyber virus and vomited my homework into randomized bytes of data onto my hard drive causing my computer to crash. Robert Berlin

I don’t know what happened on my Exam! Deborah Thompson

I had the house sprayed and it dissolved my homework. Donna Reatz

I missed class because I got my feet stuck in the microwave. I was trying to get the cat out at the time. Jennifer Henschel

I resized my screen and THAT part of the Syllabus didn’t show. Vincent Cornish

It’s not my fault. You didn’t remind me. Kathy Brooks

My brother was stabbed in a bar fight. Donald Duvall

Actual conversation with student: Me: Where is your exam? Student: Oh, I didn’t take it. Me: What do you mean you didn’t take it? Student: I mean I took it, just not physically. I took it mentally! Me: Mentally? Student: Yup. Emm C

From same student: 1. Didn’t know when classes started. 2. Got lost on way to campus. 3. Hurt knee, may need mri. 4. Child sick and need to give 4 nebulizer treatments only during classtime. 5. Car accident. 6. Grandfather passed away. Emm C

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2 Comments

  1. Many of these are funny, and many are obviously made-up excuses.

    However, unexpected and unwelcome events do happen. College instructors need to develop a good b.s. detector, and they need to have compassion.

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