by Rob Schnelle

The following news release was rescued from the hard drive of a surplused computer from Beetlebrow State University, whose Faculty Senate recently voted down a proposal to grant faculty status to adjuncts in the BSU faculty code.

Alegendary creature haunting campuses across the nation has left indelible tracks here at Beetlebrow, according to Dr. Sam Hackysacker, a professor in the Department of Anthropology. Adjunct Man, an ape-like hominid whose existence has long been disputed, came under fresh scrutiny today when Hackysacker made public an artifact he claims once belonged to an adjunct instructor.

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