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A Little Raillery: An Open Letter to American Parents From the PT Prof Proletariat

by Kathryn A. Higgins

One day while I was waiting in line for my daily one free cup of coffee – a perquisite of my job of being an adjunct college professor — a colleague of mine surreptitiously stuffed this into my (enormous, paper-laden) book bag. Although the noise and confusion in the busy cafeteria and the pajama-clad students crowding around the coffee urns prevented me from being certain who it was who had delivered this missive, I feel duty-bound to publish it here, as I think he (or she) intended it for you all:

Dear Parents:

I’m writing to congratulate you on having your child attend [expensive four-year university]. We at the University recognize and honor your commitment to your progeny’s higher education — a commitment we know takes the form of vast sums of money: forty to fifty thousand dollars a year plus beer expenses. Either you have scrimped and saved for decades, or you are accruing vast debt, or you are wealthy and can simply afford this kind of expenditure, which we really appreciate.

I just thought you should know that your kid’s college professors might be on Medicaid. How do I know this? Because I am

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